The Maine Squeezes

Pat sat in the back room of the bus mindlessly surfing the web, killing time before there set.

“Gary, have you updated the website?” he asked staring at his band mate who was way too busy playing Halo.

“Errh, I thought Jared was.” He paused for a moment before boasting triumphantly, “TAKE THAT!” His mind more determined on the video games than his band mate.   

“I wonder what the kids have been talk…what the hell?” Pat asked looking at the number of total posts on there mod profile. “This can’t be right it says in the intro thread that there are over three thousand posts in this one thread.”

“Must be a mistake, the site is new.” Kennedy chimed who was playing around with his ipohone. “This app is a waste of time…Gary what the hell?” Garrett looked up for a moment he had been bashing his head with the video game controller.

“I lost, dumb fucking aliens got me.” The growl came out in a tone Pat knew too well Sleep deprived and moody.

“Is it your time of month or something?” Jared who had just entered the back lounge. He had obviously forgotten about the existence of sun block. His flushed skin contrasting with his red hair.

“Shut up, Jared.” Garrett mumbled.

“Wait guys look…there really are over three thousand posts in this one thread.” He paused for a moment laughing. “They’re admitting random shit about each other.”

“Why the hell would they do that?” Kenny asked positioning himself behind Pat to look at the page. “Click on a random page, see what it says.” Pat did as told just as John walked in singing.

“Pour some sugar on meeee! What are you all doing in here? Weren’t you two walking the line today?” John asked pointing to Garrett and Jared. Both shrugged there shoulders.

“Double Ohhh’s? What are…are they?” Pat asked holding back laughter. “I’d butter that croissant baby?” What is up with fans these days? “Kennedy’s brock hard?! Red-Bull…”

John gave Pat a concerned look. “Who’s website are your on?”

“Ours!” Kennedy choked out between laughter. “Soccer mom approved, who the hell are these girls?”

“What’s mine?” Garrett asked curiously crowding around Pat with the others.

“They didn’t name yours.” Pat said scrolling through other random pages.

“What? Why not!?” Garrett asked slightly ticked off.

“Give it a rest Gary, maybe there just not attracted to you.” Jared announced receiving a death glare from Garrett.

“They’re like…friends. First name basis, they even sign off with I love you.” Pat said becoming increasingly curious with the thread. “Gangsta names gang…something about Spongebob.”

“Wired, we have wired fans.” John said pulling his phone out to check the time.

“These girls are just a little creepy…are those?” Kennedy asked looking at the links.

“Pictures of us and our girlfriends?!” Pat looked stunned. “How the hell do they get these?”

“I don’t know dude but this is creepy, and I have to poop.” With that John turned and left the other four to scratch there heads in confusion at these girls.

“Look Gary you got two pictures? Is that better?” Kennedy said in a mocking tone.

“This girl said ‘Fact I would shit myself if the Maine posted in here’” Pat couldn’t help but laugh at that “Should I post?” he asked clicking the reply box.

“What are you going to say? ‘This is Pat Fact: I smell like shit and need a shower?’” Jared asked sarcastically.

“They won’t believe you if you just post ‘This is Pat’. You have to prove it” Kennedy said knocking his iphone against his leg. “Damn thing freezes”

“How about, ‘You girls are crazy! This is Pat, where do you guys get all this info? We love you and promise to update soonish. Love Pat and the Maine.’” Pat read out loud.

“So do you really think they’d shit themselves?” Jared asked

“No that’d be dumb, they’ll just freak out.”

…..

Hysterical: Fact: HOLY SHIT PAT POSTED! SHITT!!!! :DDDDD

ErikaOhhh: Fact: SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!! PATRICK!

PaulaKirch: Fact: HUBBY!!! LIKE OH MY GOD!!! SHITTT!!!

Michelle_xx:  Fact: HOLY SHIT PAT POSTED! SHITT!!!! :DDDDD

Hysterical: [Quote/] HOLY SHIT PAT POSTED! SHITT!!!! :DDDDD Michelle_xx[quote]

Fact: We said the same thing…again.

SammyBaby: Fact: PAT! SHIT! PATT! PATTY! WHATS UP?!

XTamaraLovesTheMaine: Fact: Pat! Shit! Its Pat, I can’t believe it!

Wesaysarah: Fact: I can’t believe this! Pat! Holy shit Pat posted!

ColoradoSunrise719: Fact: Shit! Pat posted!

Michelle_xx:  Fact: Stephadizzle! LOL we did post the same thing again!

….

Three hours later in the very same thread.

KirstyKirsty: Fact: Hey everyone! Did I miss anything?

Hysterical: Fact: Just some shit nothing much though.

KirstyKirsty: Fact: Aw, ok!

PaulaKirch: fact: Mrs. Paula Kirch. Mrs. Patrick… I can’t decide!